Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Chapter 44 (ver. 4.0)


[State of the Union Address, January 28, 2014]
"My fellow Americans. I took this job, because I thought transparency and change was the way to go. I wanted protection for whistle-blowers and people who do the right thing. I still believe in my heart that we are all inter-connected by good and loving energy, even though our government looks so dysfunctional right now. I would ask all Americans to remember, we’re all in this together. I only have two years left, and it doesn’t feel like my job is done yet. To get the change we want, we must be able to empathize with each other, and that includes me and my fellow politicians in order for us to get a better understanding of where we are, where we came from and where we are going.

"First and foremost, where are we? We are the USA, the land of opportunity, flexibility, charity and ingenuity. A place to seek freedom from religious persecution, racial discrimination and sexual exploitation. The unified belief that we can, are and will work with each other every day to make a harmonious nation for ourselves and our families. This is where we are. This is the norm. This is what it is to be an American.

"But what does the tv tell us? Our government is only interested in lining their pockets with special interest money that buys the laws, the military just wants to kill and take over for oil companies who don’t clean the land they pollute, our banks are greedy and care nothing about the People they serve. Is that the whole truth? No, of course not, but it’s close enough that something’s got to change.

"But what if those People at the top don’t care? What if they aren’t interested in what you think? What if they just want more money and more power and more influence over you? You know how they are going to get it? By telling you how to feel on tv. By telling you what to think on tv. By telling you what to do, what to wear and what to buy on tv…and that costs money. Good thing for them, they have a lot of it…but so do you.

"I’ll tell you some more truth. The current interpretation of the Constitution suggests that our laws can be bought. That is now the law, so if you want to change the law, you have to pool your resources to do so. As your president, I am in favor of changing laws for the better when enough of the public demands it, but that means it is up to you to work together, to pool your funds, to insure our laws are just and according to the will of the People.

"And you must be passionate. You’re up against big competition…big business, which is owned by big government, which is owned by big banks, which are owned and backed by the old gold of the Catholic Church. Now, these are all good people, but they are used to getting what they want, and they are willing to do what it takes. If you want control of your government, you must control the dialogue, outside and within yourselves. This isn’t a war. There is no 'us vs. them.' There are no 'bad guys vs. good guys.' In order to win, others don’t have to lose. 'We shall overcome' implies ALL of us, not just some. A win-win solution is possible, and that comes from within you, within me and within WE. Empathy is the key. Look at each other, know each other, your lives are attending the same party.

"Divisions based on wealth, race, sex or religion are all sidetracks. This planet is for the People, by the People…ALL the People. It’s up to us to be US, and when the world realizes it’s 'just us,' then there will be 'justice.'

"Let’s love each other."

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Chapter 44 (ver. 3.0)


“You know they’re going to do the same to me, and worse…if they catch me.”

The President looked up, his eyes bloodshot. It was Assange.

“Well looky who’s here! Glad fucking Christmas old boy. How’s Ecuador treating you my cheerio chap?”

“The territory of Ecuador in London is still cramped as ever, but I’ll admit, I’m doing better than you Mr. President.” Assange looked amused. “How is the American dream?”

“It would be better with a cigarette,” he responded. “Got any?”

“I don’t smoke,” Assange shrugged. “I’d give you one if I had it though. You look haggard.”

“Thanks asshole.” The President was not himself. “Pardon my nicotine fiend, but it’s hard to keep my filter in place when I haven’t had my fix.”

“I understand sir.” Assange leaned against the door frame. He was still tall as ever, maybe more gaunt now. His beard made him look like an old man. “No one has caught you on film yet with a Marlboro between your fingers, eh?”

“Knock on wood!” The President banged his head against the metal chair. “I’m already a murderer of Muslim women and children, I wouldn’t want to assist in the tobacco industry’s jihad on ignorant Americans.” His eyes bulged wide with frustration. “Did you get a chance to say ‘hi’ to Manning on his way out?”

Assange just looked at him. “I heard a wild rumor about your death.”

“Be a dear, and put it atop the pile. The camel can take it.”

“I was told some White Supremacist groups are scheming with some of your political enemies to off you publicly,” Assange continued. “They’re scared of your influence, but they’re willing to wheel-and-deal with your martyrdom. You still make them veeery nervous. They seem to believe you’re an undercover agent working with the People against the status quo to bring a liberal agenda to innocent, white children everywhere.”

“So preposterous…such paranoia…and sooo predicable!” The President mimicked Assange’s accent. “How am I doing? I noticed you traded much of your Aussie swagger for some stiff, upper-lipped Brit. Didn’t want to look and sound like Crocodile Dundee, I guess?”

“If they get an angry mob to publicly assault you, they’re thinking much of the public might empathize, and maybe even partake…you being the cause of all their troubles, of course.”

“Of course I am,” replied the President sarcastically. “It’s all my fault.”

“You’ve angered much of the intelligence community by attempting to be the ‘most transparent administration in history.’ You didn’t think that would come back to bite you in the arse?”

“Hah!” laughed the President. “This IS the most transparent administration in history. Remember Rumsfeld?” His fingers made air quotes beneath the restraints. “‘We know the knowns, but we don’t know the unknowns…blah, blah blah?’ I’m giving the public the ‘unknowns’ on a platter! They’re just mad because they know there’s more we’re not telling them, and now they want to know it all. Let the intelligence community deal with it. They’ve been spoiled children for too long.”

Assange smirked. “I admire your spunk. Just be careful about doing any public speeches in the South. The conservative pundits are stirring up more dissent than ever.”

“Well, they should!” the President cut loose. “The South is full of good people and really, really, REALLY rotten politicians who play on the fears of their grandparents, making them look like stereotypes. I’m gonna ‘take away their guns’ and ‘force their kids listen to rap’ and ‘put a Mosque in every city’ and ‘make their daughters get abortions.’ It’s all crap! If they tar-and-feathered some of their own, the mainstream media might get back to doing their job.”

“Well, if we remember our history, there are many in the upper echelon who would happily cover up your murder to get things back to ‘normal.’ This mob scenario would most certainly be made up of conspirators willing to go to jail for the cause…you being the root of their concern.”

“I know, ‘blame it on the black guy.’ It’s all soooooooooooo boring…yet soooooooooooo easy!” The president continued, “you know, the irony here is, they don’t believe in evolution, and as long as they are in power, we won’t evolve. Genius!”

“Don’t start doubting yourself now sir,” said Assange. “I believe the silent majority would be traumatized if you gave up after all this.”

“Oh, I’m just bitching,” admitted the President. “I believe in us, and I don’t intend to give up…as soon as I can get out of this chair. Got any bolt cutters?”