The Japs attacked Pearl Harbor, I got people for that,
he committed adultery your honor, I got people for that,
the banks don’t like Glass-Steagall, I got people for that,
women want to be treated equal, hah, can you beat that?
The Nazis are killing Jews, I got people for that,
Hitler’s really making the news, I got a sequel for that,
the military wants to make moves, I got people for that,
I talked to Stalin, commies don’t seem that bad…
TRUMAN
We won, we won,
we shot the bigger gun,
they lost, they lost,
we stopped the holocaust,
we won, we won,
we dropped the bigger bomb,
they lost, they lost, what,
we helped the commies cause?
EISENHOWER
If you like Ike, don’t bet on red,
henceforth be sworn, war is the
norm. I repeat, war is the
norm. See, the
military industrial complex cuts necks for
checks, so be forewarned, war is
norm. I repeat, war is the
norm…hh, wait a minute…
JFK
I came to play, (oh no you didn’t!)
saving the day, (oh no you didn’t!)
paving the way, (oh no you didn’t!) for
presidents issuing executive orders,
they wouldn’t play, (oh no you didn’t!) so
I couldn’t stay, (oh no you didn’t!) the
day finally came, (oh no you didn’t!) they
shot me and made you investigative reporters…
JOHNSON
He’s dead? Really? He really dead?
Look at his head. Yup, he really bled.
Hey little girl, no need to frown.
(Why not?) There’s a new sheriff in town.
LBJ, en espanol: the blow job,
but I’m from Texas, I don’t snow job,
I might do business on the low, low y’all,
but I passed civil rights law, I’m no slob…
NIXON
I’m baaack…hah! We did it!
Yup, back in business.
You can’t keep Tricky Dick from getting his!
Nope, back in business.
We got a leak? Call plumbers to fix it.
Ahhh yeah, back in business.
What? That’s illegal? But I’m the president!
Ahhh shit…
FORD
Huh? What?
Uh, sure, I’m in charge.
But, my vice president
Rockefeller’s got a bigger yard.
I don’t know if I can help you,
I’m just a man,
And working WITH the people
isn’t part of their plan…
CARTER
Whoops, huh, nice try guys,
but uhhh, better luck next time.
The People were tired of snake charmers,
so they elected me, a simple, old peanut farmer,
I got ideas, un-
fortunately, the rest of government just won’t see ‘em,
I tried to tell the public, ‘bout the obstruction,
But the CIA almost had me killed at the function…
REAGAN
Well, golly-gee, we made history,
now the world is ours, literally.
Hollywood was my big time sponsor, and
George made moves with those pesky Iran/Contras.
Not to mention, “just say no.”
Unless you’re buying from us, we’ll sell you coke.
Not that I would know, don’t be telling me,
I’m way more into naps and eating jellybeans.
BUSH
War hero back in the day? Check.
Worked for the CIA? Check.
Helped cover up JFK? Check.
Kept that tidbit from the public fray? Ah, yes.
Gave the nod on making AIDS? Check.
In hope it would kill the gays? Check.
Allowed crack sales in LA? Check.
All in Jesus Christ’s name? God bless…
CLINTON
A single mom had sex with a hill billy,
in Arkansas she gave to birth to me, lil’ Willy,
life was hectic, totally willy-nilly,
until I met my wife-to-be, lil’ Hilly.
She was into politics, so silly,
I was into oral sex, no really,
then I become president, oooo nifty,
but all they ‘member ‘bout me is Monica Lewinsky…
W
Guess what W stands for? Time for war!
Sure I dodged the draft, what are dads are for?
9/11 was heaven to us in the know.
Poppy escaped trial, I starred in the show.
Banks made bank, that’s what they’re s’posed to do.
Most were skull-and-bones dudes, that’s my old crew.
At least we caught Saddam, hung him too quick,
We ain’t find bin Laden, but he ain’t do shit…
OBAMA
Well, now you know the plate I’ve been served.
I’m sorry it’s not a state of history you deserve.
Power attracts parasites and megalomaniacs.
To fix it now will take one hell of a brainiac.
Is that me? Who’s to say?
Even tho my IQ would rival these previous guys
any day, I’m still humbled…
so, why not…let us pray…
Muslims to Allah, Jews to Yaweh,
Atheists and Agnostics feel free to meditate,
Christians to Christ until judgement day, when we
all realize “God” means “good” anyways. I
ran my campaign on transparency and change, pro-
tection for whistleblowers and the attempt to get Washington
sane. So far, I got no game. Am
I to blame? Let’s talk facts and how they pertain:
I asked the FBI to change, they said, “no way.”
I asked the CIA to change, they said, “no way.”
I asked the NSA to change, they said, “no way.”
I asked the GOP to change, they said, “go away.”
I asked the banks to change, they said, “no way.”
I asked our troops to change, they said, “yes to gays.”
I asked Monsanto if things were ok, they said, “great.”
I asked the NRA to change, they said, “don’t make us
spray.” So what does that say?
When I told the People we would change, they said, “YAY!”
They voted me in, two times, all day,
but so far, your government has said, “NAY!”
I could write a bunch of presidential orders,
I could grant immigrants freedom and open up the borders,
I could tell the FED they can’t be hoarders, and to
redistribute our collective wealth from our forebears,
but I would die at the hands of an assassin,
or acquire some form of fast-acting cancer,
or my kids would get snatched by some kidnapper,
returned only after I rescinded those last chapters.
Until you People make the change, it’s that tale,
The same old, same old…it’s that stale,
instead, I try to work with these old hat males,
and do my best to avoid being black mailed,
but I’m ready. As soon as you are pissed enough to
figure out with your peers what you want to convince us of,
come get some. If I shouldn’t work with these
corporate interests, prove it: boycott the system.
Quit giving ‘em your cash, then they’ll listen.
Quit giving ‘em your cash and they’ll listen.
Quit giving ‘em a lavish lifestyle bought with
your money, withdraw your funding from their living.
Withdraw the plenty you’ve been given, and,
give it only to those who do good business.
Withdraw from the ugliness in the system,
change will come the day you make them get with it.
“Trickle down economics” was a cute campaign slogan,
but in this case, consider the “just say no” program.
Just say no…just say no, man,
just say no to control, and injure no man.
If you do it collectively, they’ll need to.
Who runs this motherfucker? The People do.
Don’t be fooled by sidetracks and needless news,
…that’s what sheeple do.
Remember, we’re in this together, no matter what.
no matter how angry politicians might become,
no matter how scary the news portrays the scrum,
believe it or not, we shall overcome.
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