Do the Whiteboy (GOP theme song)

They all want to know exactly what it’s really like, being white.

[Toth]
Alright, they wanna know. Hey Tucker, Splitface gave this beat that sounds like Frankenstein on acid, so let’s do this like Clueless.

[Tucker]
Do what?

(hook)
Do the whiteboy…Do the whiteboy…
Do the whiteboy…Do the whiteboy…

(Toth) We got the
good, the bad, and we also got the ugly, that’s
Jesus, Hitler and the leaders of our country,
What? Christ wasn’t white? You think I’m wishing? In
that case, in place of the ugly put Mel Gibson.
Anti-semite? Man, don’t play a dummy, be
psyched we got other people managing our money, an-
other race cooks, another cleans clothes, an-
other runs 7-11’s another mows, and
everybody takes their place where they belong, and
loves their job…unless…I could be wrong, but
why ever bother doing stuff that sucks,
“Do What You Like,” (right?) like Humpty Hump, and
that’s just what we white boys do, so
don’t try to stop me, or I’ll find a way to sue, no
dumb shit (true), we learned to stay above it, what we
really love to do is run shit like you, so…

(hook)

(Tucker)
BLAH! Beware the white devil! Ad-
dicted to bass, cause I was raised by the treble, be-
fore hip hop was pop, it was heavy metal, but Met-
allica was too greedy when Napster got settled.
Keep your eyes peeled! I’ll steal your ideas, and
print them in books, so that my people can read ‘em, and
take advantage of missed opportunities that haunt you, since
we don’t HAVE to go to work, we WANT to.
You need me, or else the industry would stop, the
internet would fail, and you wouldn’t get good pot,
80% of your rap sales would drop, but inter-
estingly enough, boot-legging would not. If you
wanna join a team, where the win is guaranteed, leave your
melanin at home or at least bring some bleach, the
greatest trick the devil ever pulled was white hype, don’t for-
get, white rhymes with right, right?

(hook)

(Abe tha Babe) (Do the
whiteboy?) Right boy, get it through your skull, before I
fuck around like John Mayer and get into your soul. We
built this city on Rock-n-Roll, and Chuck
Berry lives here, though he’s awful old. We’re
way past the days of “come here boy,” and re-
placed the Stevie Wonder with Jamirquoi,
Public Enemy’s black-balled for preaching terror, and who
needs Alicia Keys, there’s Christina Aguillera,
Bob Marley WAS in it for the long haul, but we
found UB40 and Snow, then Sean Paul, the
caucasoid’s got it, that’s no reason for hating it, cause
while you’re sitting pissed, my fam’s out making it,
we got exceptions, like those young Eminem’s, but ev-
entually, he made the grade in the end. We
use your music in new ways that’s too clever, cause
anything you can do, I can do better…

Oh whiteboy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind!
Hey whiteboy! Hey whiteboy!
Oh whiteboy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind!
Hey whiteboy! Hey whiteboy!
Oh whiteboy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind!
Hey whiteboy! Hey whiteboy!
Oh whiteboy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind!
Hey whiteboy! Hey whiteboy!

Daniel 12:10 Many shall be purified, and made WHITE, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.

…and God hath spoken.

Chapter Thirty-One

The phone rang twice before Assange put up his laptop and answered. “Hello?”

“Mr. Assange?”

“Yes.”

“My name is Paula Broadwell.” She let the words sink in.

“Well…to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“To the fact you’re the one guy who can’t get in anymore trouble than you already are.” She waited.

“This line is probably tapped.”

“It doesn’t matter. Anyone listening would know what I know anyways,” said Broadwell. “You got a pen and a few minutes?”

That’s what she said, Assange thought. “Let me check my schedule…yes, I have the time.”

“You need to be aware of some big things going down, and if any of this is considered whistle blower material, please print it as soon as possible.”

“You’re in the media,” Assange replied, “why not take the credit yourself?”

“I’m still military, regardless of what stage,” said Broadwell, “and I’m not trying to become the next Bradley Manning.”

“This won’t be traceable to you?” asked Assange.

“I’ve got links that some careless higher-ups have left open to the public,” Broadwell continued, “but let me sum it up: Karl Rove has been a very bad boy.”

Assange smiled. “Do tell.”

“First, the Benghazi charade all stems back to him. General Petraeus was used by Rove to get the goods on resources in the middle east. Second, the internal struggles going on within the Ecuador government and military are a result of Rove using his influence to force those sympathetic to you out. Third, Rove attempted to use his ORCA network during the election to affect vote tallies on a national scale, but he was thwarted by associates of Anonymous.”

Assange’s smile widened. “Really? I thought my peeps would’ve bragged to me about that one by now.”

“It went unverified until an hour ago,” Broadwell replied, “apparently, they got scared when Rove found out. They put up a firewall around his network on election day. He tried over a hundred times to hack the national voting database, and he would’ve too, but thanks to a handful of do-gooders, the tallies went untainted…at least from Rove’s end. Did you get to see him on election night? He was freaking out. He kept commenting that the election ‘wasn’t over yet.’ FOX News was certainly waiting for him to pull a rabbit out of the hat.”

“A $300 million dollar one at that.” Assange paused, “thanks for the links. Should I assume your relationship with Petraeus is all subterfuge?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out…but keep in mind, I’ll be watched closely from now on, so I doubt I will be able to communicate with you again. Good luck sir, you are an inspiration to the rest of us.” She hung up.

Assange sighed. Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Power vs. Power

Instead of calling it Democrats vs. Republicans, I'm willing to call it what it is: power vs. power. The one who gets my vote will come down to which power is more respectful and respectable. I appreciate leaders who want to work together and make us harmonious, and I want nothing to do with partisan politics.

Lincoln repped the GOP hard, and I'm grateful for him.

FDR repped the Dems hard, and I'm grateful for him.

Unfortunately, since Eisenhower, the Republicans have been hijacked by predatory capitalists who give capitalism a bad name. Until they change their methods of "team work," I would rather create WIN-WIN solutions with nice people who respect each other.

Whatever party does that will get my vote.

Chapter Thirty

Air Force One landed in Springfield, New Hampshire. The house of Petraeus was quiet. The President’s secret service knocked. His wife opened the door.

“Yes? Oh my, I guess you want to speak with David.”

The President moved past his men to hug her. “How are you Holly?”

Her eyes glazed over a bit. She managed a “fine, but I liked it better when David worked in the military. The games the CIA plays is unnerving.”

“For you and your family, the worst is over.” The president looked into her eyes, “I can’t tell you anything more, but please trust your husband. He’s a good man.”

She cried. “Thanks Mr. President.”

“May I speak with him privately?” asked the President.

“Of course. Please come in.”

General Petraeus was waiting in his robe. “Mr. President, good to see you.” They shook hands. “Honey, do you mind if I show off your gardens?”

“I’m sure they’re nothing compared to Michelle’s,” she replied, “but please enjoy.”

The President strolled thru hydrangeas and roses with Petraeus. The secret service posted up in the tulips and the violets. The air was a sweet mix of autumn leaves and burning wood. When they were far enough away from the house, they moved on from small talk.

“What’s good?” asked the President.

“Unfortunately, not the CIA.” Petraeus sighed. “I’m grateful the FBI was willing to play this out. Holly’s embarrassed, but she’ll be ok. My biographer, Paula Broadwell is willing to go along with this until it’s done, but I’m sure her husband is uncomfortable.”

“I’ll give her a job when this all calms down,” said the President.

Petraeus nodded, “I’ll get to the gist. Rove ok’d Benghazi. It was supposed to be their ‘October Surprise’ for you while tying up several loose ends:

1. Ambassador Stevens knew too much about the gold being looted from Libya, and being gay didn’t help his cause any. He was getting good information from the natives about who was involved, and it turned out to be mostly Bush/Cheney people. Once he showed his true colors, he became ‘fair game’.
2. That Mohammed parody was funded by GOP election money thru Rove. They got Sam Bacile to take the fall, but he’s also pleading the fifth. The demonstrations all over the middle east were instigated by agents sympathetic to the right wing, but it almost backfired. Most protesters showed up to denounce the assassination of Stevens and didn’t care about the film. Agents were able to video enough U.S. flag burning to make up for lack of actual participation.
3. Romney had prior knowledge of the attacks in Benghazi and was advised by Rove to squeeze you during the debates. He almost jumped the gun when he tweeted about it seconds after it happened. Only a few people noticed how impossibly informed he was, but they’ve been silenced.
4. Republicans tried to spin this as your fault immediately, but between the Libyans knowing the truth and Americans used to these games being played, the only part of the population who agreed were a handful of their own constituents. Congratulations sir, you beat them.”

“Governor Christie helped, and he’s likely to take some heat from the GOP too.” The President furrowed his brow, “I don’t like what they did to Stevens. That’s inexcusable. What’s the legal outlook on Rove? Can he be held accountable?”

Petraeus shrugged, “The people involved are too compartmentalized, but his influence is shrinking after spending $300 million to defeat you and not having squat to show for it. It might be better to continue surveillance. If he keeps abusing his diplomatic immunity in the name of partisan politics, he may slip up.”

The President thought for a moment. “This all leads to daddy Bush doesn’t it?”

Petraeus paused, “I believe ‘Poppy’ is still ‘in the shit’ if that’s what you mean. He contributed more secret money to Romney than anyone else, but he’s got other problems.”

“Oh?” asked the President.

Petraeus lowered his voice, “More evidence keeps surfacing about his past…and the CIA keeps having to hide it. It’s like J.E. Hoover got a kick out of leaving Easter eggs for future generations to marvel at.”

“Does it concern ‘the big event’?”

Petraeus didn’t blink. “During my time at the CIA, although I was kept in the dark, it became quite clear, George H.W. Bush was part of the team that assassinated John F. Kennedy in Dallas, 1963.”

The President closed his eyes. “Thank you David. You’ve served your country well. Keep your family safe. I’ve got some work to do.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The door to the Assange’s room in the Ecuadorian embassy exploded open, no smoke, just broken hinges on the floor. The power dimmed and cut out. Karl Rove stood in the entrance.

“You could’ve just knocked.” Assange got up from his seat. “I’ve never experienced it before, but that felt like some of the new electro magnetic pulse trigger entry technology...the EMPTE, I believe?”

“You’re coming with me now,” said Rove.

“No,” replied Assange, “actually, I am currently receiving political asylum from Ecuador, and no matter how much you attempt to intimidate me, I will not freely give up my rights.”

“You are currently conspiring with enemies of the United States and sharing information with international terrorists.” Rove continued to stand in the entry. “Let’s go.”

Assange stared at him from across the room. “If you mean I am cooperating with the rest of the world that does not agree with your people, you are correct, but that in itself is not illegal. Likewise, I do share information with protest groups and whistleblower agencies of government, but they are by no means ‘terrorists’ even if you are trying to get legislation passed that says otherwise.”

“We have your fingerprints all over some new 9-11 leaks streaming on youtube (http://youtu.be/n_fp5kaVYhk). That’s a lot of classified information not allowed for public view, sponsored by you. Come out and disprove me.”

“I don’t do 9-11,” Assange said.

“You don’t do 9-11 because you don’t want be sloughed off as another crazy train patron,” Rove responded. “Don’t lie to me, I know.”

Assange bit his lip for a second. “If 9-11 is exactly how your people purport it to be, why are you so paranoid?”

Rove glowered. “You know exactly what happened on 9-11, and I know you know, because I know everything! National security is the only reason I need to take you out, so unless you want me to put unnecessary pressure on you thru others you may or may not care about, I suggest martyrdom as soon as possible. Follow me.”

Assange sat back down. “I also don’t do blackmail Mr. Rove. If you’ll excuse me, I have some very important work to do.” Assange paused, “By the way, I noticed you do a lot of clandestine work yourself Karl. The amount of time you’ve spent on 9-11 witnesses alone is staggering. There is a curious amount of coincidental deaths within those witnesses. Last I looked, more 9-11 witnesses have died before they could submit testimony than have survived and made it to court. Your whereabouts during those years are dubious even on the DoJ database. Cheeky Karl, you are a shadow.”

“I don’t do blackmail either ass face,” Karl waited. “What else do you know?”

Assange smiled. “I know you have ordered the deaths of thousands of ‘insurgents’ whether they were Afghanis, Iraqis or even Americans on U.S. soil in the name of ‘national security’ although it's debatable whether any of those Americans were actually insurgents or just those unlucky enough to possess too much info about 9-11. I know thru your ties to the Bush family you were able to loot the World Trade Center gold supply, Iraqi gold in Baghdad, and Gaddafi’s Libyan gold reserves, and I know you get illegal oil money from those regions. If all goes well in Iran, I know you will get a nice chunk from their oil too.” Assange paused. “Unless you're going to be master of your technology, it doesn’t matter how many advantages you have on the rest of us. We will always find out what you are up to…always.”

Rove fumed, “we’ll see if you can keep up with us from your room here. You’re still grounded. That reminds me, say some prayers for your mum.” He stormed out.

Assange heard voices in Spanish yelling from the halls. Several embassy soldiers finally arrived at his door.

“Es ok senior Assange?” asked one of them.

Assange reached behind his desk and pressed stop on his old school analog recorder. The tape was unaffected by the EMP earlier. He rewound the tape and listened. Rove came thru loud and clear.

“Si, es ok mi amigo. Gracias.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The president was glum. If there is a dark side to this job, it’s deceit, he thought. His first term was almost up, and change had been slow in coming mostly due to the Republicans’ obstructionist policies. It was tough playing bipartisan in the viper pit that is Washington, but he didn’t realize how many of those snakes would blatantly bite him again…and again. Well maybe he did, but it still didn’t make it any less disappointing.

Stay the course.

Prayer was his mainstay. He wasn’t overly religious, but he valued how calm and clear he got during his meditations. It always made him smile to think of Lincoln’s words, “if you didn’t pray before you were president…” WOW. The first day in office his hair started graying. Secrets tend to do that. Before he was elected, he prided himself on transparency. Within his first year of office, it was reported his administration was more secretive than any previous. Well, a deal’s a deal, even if the other party reneged again…and again. This president fulfilled his obligations because he was a good man. How many are left?

He called one.

The phone rang twice. “Hello, Mr. President.”

“Hello, Mr. Powell. How’s life?”

“Boring,” said Powell, “but from where I come from, it’s worth its weight in gold. How is the most thankless job in the world?”

“Thankless.” The president paused.

“You want to talk?” asked Powell.

“Please. Can you meet at the park in an hour?”

“I can meet sooner…”

“My secret service will have to roll with me,” replied the President, “so I’ll need about that.”

An hour later, they strolled together with a perimeter of agents and a flock of pigeons following. “Sorry I didn’t bring any food guys,” said the President. The pigeons didn’t seem to mind and accompanied him anyway.

“So, how bad is it?” asked Powell.

The president sighed. “It sucks man. I’m staying the course, but it’s really depressing sometimes. Remind me why I’m still playing nice?”

“Accountability,” replied Powell. “You held up your end of the bargain, they didn’t. They bet on you being a one-termer. You’re about to foil them. Their power will be the weakest when the People want change the most…then it’s on like Donkey Kong.”

“You were right about them.”

“I know,” said Powell. “I had to swim with ‘em for eight years. I’m glad I made it out alive.”

“Dolphins know how to outsmart sharks.”

“It’s because sharks are so obvious. Eat, be sneaky, look scary, stick together when there’s danger, kill each other when it’s gone. Dolphins are better teammates, and they live in joy. Sharks just want more.”

The President frowned, “some of my constituents think I’m a shark now.”

“Let them,” continued Powell. “That’ll only make it more joyful when you come back around to their expectations. You finished the first leg and established yourself as a respectful, responsible leader who knows right from wrong and treats women as human beings. Congress’ popularity is the lowest in history, and that gives you People power…lots of dolphins.”

“When I make moves next term, ‘shock and awe’ will take on a whole new meaning.” The president smiled, “what can I expect from the sharks?”

“Hunger,” replied Powell. “The great whites will be united as never before, but so will the dolphins, and there are many more of them.”

“Will we ever be able to just get along?” wondered the President.

“Ever heard of a shark going vegan?” asked Powell. “Me neither.”

NEW VIDEO: "Romancing the Grindstone"

(from the album BOOK OF TOTH by Jonathan Toth from Hoth)


Schnicked up at the Sprint store, dropping bills, copping minutes,
sucking bio-diesel, while my Honda’s huffing gas.
She’s such a bad van, and she’s got a lotta figure,
so bad, she still sports an Obama sticker.

Remember those days, on the brink of change?
We were dancing in the streets when they announced his name,
but after watching politicians go back to their old
ways, it’s like GOD DAMN, more of the same.

They tricked us again, so many false hopes,
was it human nature that choked or the media hoax,
that replaces truth with some public anecdotes,
about how ‘we’ feel, speaking up for us common folks.

I don’t know about you…but I never
asked to be spoken for by the f*cking news.
I put him in office for the bigger view, and he’s
got eight years to do what the last guy didn’t do.

Oh, you don’t remember? You sure better G,
or get served like the rest with short term memory,
who let their news team turn their destiny
into anger, and not bother to learn the rest of things,

like, who in control would want to cause unrest with things,
and are you mad about the past or the present things?
I’m still getting over the last guy who made a mess of things.
Maybe it’s really him who you want to burn in effigy.

You know the media gets paid right?
to state and/or claim what it’s owner wants it to say,
especially nowadays, right Rupert? When your
boys get voted out of office, time for a power-play:

push the public into a dour game, of
playing with our emotions and coaching our pain…

…unless we don’t want to play…
turn a loss into a gain and tell ‘em not again,
spare the rod, spoil the child, guess they won’t learn a lot.
My favorite way to punish is to turn ‘it’ off.

They can’t dictate my dictum,
with rants and raves that pander to victims,
profiteering off fear and indecision, with
no answers or solutions, just sheer bitchin’.

So I let the chaff fall by the wayside,
and keep the wheat in my stash for a great ride,
and cast my pearls before people of the same Mind,
cause when my man says it’s on, it’s GAME TIME…

…we did it once, for the right reason,
saw through the propaganda, and the cheatin’,
the sidetracks, the lies, and deceivin’,
and won…and seeing is believing,

but power itself isn’t beyond treason, and
those opposed to change don’t like what they’re seeing.
So stay focused and back it with that active reason,
cause since JFK it’s been flack jacket season.


FREE DOWNLOAD:
http://jonathantothfromhoth.bandcamp.com/album/book-of-toth